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It s Fine Know what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know. Plain Tap Water Scented Double-sided full-color air freshener measures 3 1 2″…
Uggggggh… How is it only TUESDAY? It’s been a full year since the work week started. I swear I can feel each individual cell in my body slowly dying to the beat of that annoying wall clock. And Glen in the next cubicle. Ghod. If he doesn’t stop loudly smacking his gum and clicking his…
Who Would You Rather… Fuck, Marry, Kill?Kill Candle Fuck, Marry, Kill, as described by Wikipedia (sorry, teachers), is a popular social forced-choice question and answer game that has existed for decades. In the game, one person poses three names, typically either names of people in their personal lives, or names of celebrities. The other person then…
Fake News! Washing hands is dumb! I ll never believe anything you say about these so-called invisible germs! Science isn t real! And why am I always getting sick? Clean TangerineNet Weight: 8 oz.All-natural, organic, vegan liquid castile soap scented with essential oil bottled in amber glass. Not tested on animals© 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co.
Silently Judging! Yes, I m silently judging you for not washing your hands. Dirtball. Lemon LoserNet Weight: 8 oz.All-natural, organic, vegan liquid castile soap scented with essential oil bottled in amber glass. Not tested on animals© 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co.
OMG, Crossfit? YES. I looooove working out. If I could, I would do it 24 7. It’s just that I have all these obligations and such since I took that sabbatical from work. Oh, yeah, technically they called it “fired” but I was going to take a creative break anyway. And I LOVE my free…
CHEER UP, SILLY PENCIL! X Body text XLife’s not so bad. There are still plenty of us out there who like you: elementary school kids, golfers, artists, and uhhh… did I say schoolchildren already? But hey, things could be worse. I mean, who wants to be a crayon, right? So hold your head high, humble…
Who Would You Rather… Fuck, Marry, Kill?Marry Candle Fuck, Marry, Kill, as described by Wikipedia (sorry, teachers), is a popular social forced-choice question and answer game that has existed for decades. In the game, one person poses three names, typically either names of people in their personal lives, or names of celebrities. The other person then…
WHO SAYS EXISTENTIAL DREAD CAN T BE FUN? Congratulations, you’ve made it to middle age! All those years of being “financially responsible” means you can finally buy a motorcycle and the bitchin’ leather jacket to match. Or maybe a year-long silent meditation retreat is more your speed. Either way, you’ve earned it, after all. At…
Okay Moms Know what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know. Sippy Cup Wine Scented Double-sided full-color air freshener measures 3 1 2″ x…
CONGRATULATIONS. You re the world s okayest mom! Please don’t take offense! Face it, perfect moms are the absolute worst, what with their spotless car seats, healthy and organic snacks packed neatly in recyclable containers, and quick-draw first aid kits. Okay moms are where it’s at. Okay moms are where you want to live: sippy…
Sunsets just get me. If I m inside, you can bet I m thinking of being out. I m just never more comfortable than when I m knee-deep in swamps, poison ivy, and cicadas. In fact, I once knitted an entire sweater out of coyote fur and campfire smoke. If you don t believe me, check my Insta…
Whiskey River Soap Co. Parent Teacher 17 oz 60 Hour Burn Time 2019 Nostalgia Green Sprint Scented WHISYOU-C The quadratic WHAT? Kid, I was never that good at math. I failed algebra twice. I m more of a baking delicious cupcakes good movie finder type of personality. Can t you just find some random…
Let s face it – nobody has the energy to be straightforward all the time. Each of the 8 pencils in this pack contains a message that s sure to resonate with anyone who s prone to hiding their feelings, including WHAT GRUDGE? and I PREFER PENS, BUT THIS IS FINE. They make a terrific conversation-starter…
IT S A SNOW DAY SOMEWHERE… But not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started…
Breathtaking views of all your bad decisions crashing into the shore! Welcome to Bad Decision Bluffs, where sky-high hopes and dreams meet the chaotic turbulence of the rough waters below. Perch on the edge—pretty much as far out as you can go—to get the best view of each and every poor decision you’ve ever made,…
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