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Whiskey River Soap Co. Parent Teacher 17 oz 60 Hour Burn Time 2019 Nostalgia Green Sprint Scented WHISYOU-C The quadratic WHAT? Kid, I was never that good at math. I failed algebra twice. I m more of a baking delicious cupcakes good movie finder type of personality. Can t you just find some random…
Let s face it – nobody has the energy to be straightforward all the time. Each of the 8 pencils in this pack contains a message that s sure to resonate with anyone who s prone to hiding their feelings, including WHAT GRUDGE? and I PREFER PENS, BUT THIS IS FINE. They make a terrific conversation-starter…
IT S A SNOW DAY SOMEWHERE… But not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started…
Breathtaking views of all your bad decisions crashing into the shore! Welcome to Bad Decision Bluffs, where sky-high hopes and dreams meet the chaotic turbulence of the rough waters below. Perch on the edge—pretty much as far out as you can go—to get the best view of each and every poor decision you’ve ever made,…
A great spot to sit and wonder what cool stuff everyone else is doing! Welcome to FOMO Mountain, a place you frequently visit when you’re scrolling through social media feeds wondering why nobody ever invites you to the really fun stuff like personal family vacations and celebrity destination weddings on private islands where you don’t…
The perfect place to nurse a hangover while fending off rattlesnakes! Welcome to the unadulterated beauty of the Hot Mess Desert! A true adventurer’s destination for those looking to camp, hike, star-gaze, and throw buckets of fuel on the burning dumpster fire that is your current life. On top of that, you’ll probably end up…
A one-way trip to your own private island of feeling sorry for yourself! Welcome to the Isle of Self Pity, the only vacation destination in the Sea of Wet Hot Tears where you can surf, catch some rays, and bask in the blinding narcissism of knowing that you have it worse than anyone who has ever…
Shit Shows Know what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know. Fireball Shots Scented Double-sided full-color air freshener measures 3 1 2″ x 3″…
Shit Show. Who doesn’t love colored pencils? Turn that gray world Technicolor with our new Shit Show Colored Pencil Set. Shit Show Colored Pencils 8-Pack8 brightly colored pre-sharpened pencils packed into a sturdy slide-out box© 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co.
STICK IT!60 Tricky Stickers Hey, check it out! This new iPhone contains “real raisins”! Yeah, we know these stickers are silly. But so are we! And so are the crazy marketing claims that scream at us from every direction, every single day of our lives. Believe me, your Great Aunt Phyllis is going to love finding…
Well, your brother needs new shoes. Mom packed lunches, signed permission slips, and dropped off your siblings at school before moseying down to the hospital for your arrival, so the story goes. And you consider yourself lucky that someone even remembered to take you home. But don’t worry, your turn will come… someday. In the meantime, dig through this pile of hand-me-downs…
I m a fake vegan. Hey, wouldn’t it be nice if people just told the truth every once in a while? I mean, nobody wants to hear that Susan thinks your baby is weird looking, but does she have to go on and on about how ADORABLE he is, only to snicker with the entire…
One super deluxe pint of unf*ck = yourself. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Morning Do-Over Scented Notes of coffee and sweet pastriesNet Weight: Approximately 17 oz.Burn time: 60 hoursNote: Because all of our candles are handmade, no two are identical.© 2021 Whiskey River Soap Co.
No fucks. We hear you. You re so over it you can t even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us really liked it when you were just a simple, caring, average Joe. So kudos to you! Even though you couldn t give a F. We know. Fresh…
Archie McPhee Wind Up Chattering Teeth. Wind-up, plastic teethTeeth chatter and move when wound2-1 2” x 2-1 2” x 1-1 2”Old school hilarity SKU – 12219
Archie McPhee Wind-up High Five. Wind-up High Five 3-1 2 tall open hand Walks slowly toward your open hand Up high, down low, too slow SKU – 12598 S
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